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May 4, 2013 / Tara

Yeah I Want to Be That Blogger

familyUgh. Yeah just saw yet another blog where I am left feeling completely inadequate as a woman, mother, homeowner…. just keep filling in the blanks. You know what kind I mean; the type of blog where everyone looks perfect from the mom to the pet dog. The kind where the house is not only clean and orderly but supremely decorated and there’s a pan of just baked brownies (from scratch) cooling on the trivet in the kitchen. Yeah, I’m lucky if I take a shower. I actually count the good days as those I took a shower. My living room shades are ripped because the cat is in heat and crazy and I’ve had no time to take her to the vet to get her fixed. My kitchen walls have paint splattered on where i was trying to decide a color last year and then never actually got to paint.

Are there really that many beautiful people out there or are people that dishonest? Knowing how many people there are out there with chronically ill kids, with chronic illnesses themselves, I can’t believe there aren’t more people like me. So where are the blogs for the folks like us? I’d like to see the blog for the person who isn’t necessarily whining about how crappy their life is but who is telling me “look it sucks that I have to give up sleep, barely eat and never put on makeup and no I don’t have a baby. I have a severely ill child who is never getting any better and this is my life. It’s hard, it’s painful and my house never mind my hair is a mess but I’m doing the best I can and here’s a tip I just figured out.”

Where’s that blog? Maybe folks want escapism when they go online? I have t.v. and Netflix for that (yep working on my Law & Order obsession on my phone every night now..Season 5 baby).  I want to feel like I’m not alone. I want to open up the internet and not see 50 pictures of fresh baked goodies (my kid can’t eat that and my tummy doesn’t need it frankly) or 50 “high fiber, low fat” diet tips (my kid can’t eat much fiber and the stuff we used to think of as healthy is now a death sentence) or a family photo where everyone’s clothes match to the nines (yeah, clean shirts are where again?). I’ve got one kid off in college who comes home in 10 short days and I’m panicked because I know that’s only going to add more turmoil to an already crazy life. One kid who has to stay laying down or her ileostomy turns purple and we might be headed right back to the hospital again (we counted she’s spent 69 days there so far this year) . And then my middle child who is an awesome kid and is generally ignored because he isn’t suicidal or chronically ill. Never mind my boyfriend of 12 years and I aren’t married ( long story) and our dog is getting old and peeing on the floor constantly and our cat needs a little snip snip. Is there a blog for a family like ours?

Maybe I’ll just go watch some more Netflix.

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