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August 6, 2011 / Tara

Knowing You Need To Switch Therapists

My significant other and I have been going to counseling together.  No we are not engaged or married.  Probably a bad sign that we need counseling huh?  Well it’s been 10 years and we have been having more and more issues lately.  I am trying to figure out if I’m staying in the relationship.

But our therapist is not working for me.  I’m not sure she’s working for him either.  I feel like she takes a very simplistic approach to how she is dealing with us and is not really understanding the things we tell her.  So after 3 sessions, I feel like it is time to switch.  I don’t want to waste anymore time.  It took me years to get him to agree to go to therapy with me and now that we’re there, I want to feel like we have a good working relationship with the counselor.

I think people often hesitate to change therapists.  Whether it is for yourself or your children, we may feel guilty about making the switch.  Like what if the therapist gets their feelings hurt?  That’s sort of silly when you think about it.  But I know I’ve done it!  Sometimes we may be afraid of the unknown, like this therapist might not be the best fit but who knows what else is out there.  I know finding a mental health professional especially for our children can be difficult.  However, I also feel that a bad therapist (or one that just doesn’t click with the patient) can do more harm than no therapy at all.  Sometimes the idea of starting all over from point A is daunting!  I know I don’t want to tell my story to one more person.  Lord knows I don’t!  However, if I stay with the therapist we’re using and it isn’t helping my relationship than what is the point.

Granted three sessions is not very much and I know it is going to take a lot of work.  But, I think you get a sense fairly quickly of someone’s professional capabilities and how they jive with your needs.



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  1. stolimartinimom / Aug 12 2011 10:27 pm

    Thanks Lianne! We were luckily able to find another therapist quickly and have an appointment on Monday. I was worried about a long waiting period.
    I can only imagine how much more complicated this would be if my honey had ADHD so hugs to you! I am sure that is a tough spot to be in. Can’t be that many out there that specialize in ADHD and marital counseling together. But you’ll find the one!

  2. Lianne / Aug 9 2011 9:29 pm

    Yup. My hubby is ADHD and we’ve tried counseling a few times. It has been a disaster! When we both walked out of there feeling worse than when we went in, we realized this wasn’t helping. We know where we were going wrong – a traditional couples counselor can do more harm than good in an ADHD relationship. We need to find someone who specializes in that or we’ll never get anywhere. So that’s where things stand – knowing what we need to do and not doing anything about it.

    Good luck to you! If you don’t feel comfortable with this counselor, get out of there!!

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